Chapter 14: Achieving and Maintaining Confidence
Confidence is a skill, not a fixed trait
Confidence during a job search is built through evidence, not willed into existence through positive thinking alone. A run of rejections can erode confidence quickly if you let each one stand as a verdict on your ability, rather than one outcome among many, most of which are shaped by factors entirely outside your control, including internal candidates, budget changes and shifting priorities you were never told about.
Building the evidence base
Keep a simple, honest record of your genuine achievements, positive feedback you have received, and moments where things went well during your search, however small. Reviewing this record before an interview or a difficult day does more for confidence in the moment than any amount of general reassurance.
When confidence dips further than expected
As covered in Chapter 3, research consistently links job loss to a genuine drop in psychological wellbeing, often including a measurable hit to self-esteem, so a dip in confidence during your search is not unusual and does not mean something has gone wrong. If low mood or a loss of confidence is persistent, or feels heavier than the day to day frustration of searching, it is worth speaking to your GP or a qualified counsellor alongside your coach. There is no weakness in seeking that support directly, and doing so is often what allows the practical work in this chapter to actually take hold.
In practice: Marcus's evidence log
After four consecutive rejections, Marcus began to doubt his suitability for his own field entirely. Reviewing a simple evidence log he had kept, including two strong pieces of interview feedback and a successful project delivered under his previous employer, gave him a factual basis to separate the outcome of four specific processes from a judgement on his overall capability.
In practice: Sunita's feedback request
Sunita found her confidence dipped sharply after a strong first interview did not progress to a second. Discussing it with her coach, she requested specific feedback from the employer, which revealed the decision had come down to internal budget constraints unrelated to her performance. Building the habit of requesting feedback after every unsuccessful process gave her a factual, rather than assumed, picture of where she genuinely needed to improve, and where she did not.
- Treating every rejection as evidence of a personal shortfall, without seeking the actual reason.
- Comparing your progress unfavourably to others without knowing their full circumstances.
- Neglecting to record positive feedback and small wins as they happen.
- Allowing a difficult week to undo weeks of genuine progress in your own mind.
- Start an evidence log of achievements, positive feedback and progress, and add to it weekly.
- After any rejection, note one factual, specific reason it may not have been about your ability.
- Review your evidence log before every interview.
- Request feedback after any unsuccessful process, and record what you learn from it.
This programme gives you frameworks and actions. Your coach is where they become genuinely yours. Rather than arriving with answers, consider bringing these open questions into your next session and exploring them together:
- What evidence of your own value have you been discounting or explaining away?
- What would you say to a friend going through exactly what you are going through?